I'm often asked to review people's Executive Summaries. To me these are very important in "selling the sizzle" to your potential client, yet often they read like the are "all about me"!
"We are a large company..." "We offer a quality service..." "We have a good reputation..."
All this says to the reader is that you are more concerned about yourself than them. Try to rephrase those statements so they don't start with "we" and then also add a benefit to each so the client gets a good idea of what it means to THEM.
For example: "With a staff of 25 qualified technicians, we guarantee to be onsite within 60 minutes, which means you will be operational again quickly with minimal downtime."
Take a look at your last Executive Summary and have a go at changing all your "we" statements into strong selling points.
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